Friday, April 30, 2010

Stretch Marks Don't Wipe Off

Mission: Get skinny and have toned arms by next Sunday.
Why? Because we're going to a wedding and I believe I'll be wearing a sleeveless dress. Also, my own kid called me fat.
It's true.

Here's how the conversation went:
I'm sitting in a chair, and my muffin top may be slightly hanging out from under my shirt. Enter the 3-year-old.
Carly: "Mommy, you bad girl!"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Carly: "You drew on you with marker!"
Me: "What are you talking about?"

She points to my.. uh.. butt/side/tummy/hip roll. Indeed, there were purplish streaks running up and down.
Me: "Honey, that's not marker. Those are stretch marks."
Carly: *confused look* "I'll wipe it off."
What could I do but let her scrub at my fat roll with a baby wipe?

I can get rid of the fat roll, that's what I can do! 
After I finish eating this bucket of Triple Ginger Cookies my sister-in-law made for me. Hey, the faster I eat them the faster I can get skinny, right?
Also, I plan to play DDR every night and do my NYC Ballet workout DVD. I even made Douglas do it with me last week. (Men trying to plie = Also a great workout for your abs! From laughing, get it? Get it?) The DDR game has a calorie counting feature, so based on my height and weight I can burn about 300 calories in an hour. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it sure is fun!

Oh, and I bought a pair of these:



Ok yes they're ugly, but they work great! They're Skechers Shape-Ups, and they are brutal. To a wuss like me anyway. Even just wearing them around my little apartment makes me super sore. They're really comfortable though.

So here's why I want to get toned, Exhibit A:


Aaaand Exhibit B:


Those are the two dresses from which I'm trying to choose for the wedding. Actually, we're going to two weddings this spring so I could wear both, but I'm not really sure about the black one. It's graceful and elegant and classy, but is it old-lady-ish? Black isn't really my thing. 
I looove the yellow one, but it's so tight I can barely breathe. It was on sale plus 30% off because there were loose stitches around the belt, which I can totally fix. Although that makes it non-returnable, so I have to fit into it. (And those aren't the shoes I'm planning to wear, but the first ones I could reach in that dress without ripping more stitches!)

What do you guys think?

11 comments:

Elaine said...

I think you look gorgeous! Love the yellow dress- it's so springish!

Cristy said...

That black dress is NOT old lady like! I think they are both lovely for a wedding, the black one would be nice for a more formal affair and the yellow one for a more springy look.

You look great!

Lemon Jitters said...

Uh, I was totally expecting to see a fat person in your pics. Helllooo! You are so NOT fat. Seriously. You look really good! I like the black dress a lot.

knittyornice said...

oooo love love love the black dress... you can accessorize it with super punchy colors! i like the yellow dress too, but for a wedding... i would go with the black one hands down...

Joyce said...

you look like a size 6! u r fine :) love the yellow dress!

i love DDR!!! it totally tones up the calves....i have had guys complimented me specifically on my calves after playing DDR nonstop for a couple of months :)

Good Girls Studio said...

Kids..gotta love them (& the marker marks they left behind!) :) You look soo pretty in those dresses, loving the yellow one!

Lisa said...

The black dress, definitely.

Mary P. said...

I love that conversation with your daughter!

Well, as far as the black dress goes - I like it. Not old-lady-ish. Old-lady-ish = square cut jackets that are all off on proportion and high necklines and short sleeved evening gowns. But I also like the yellow dress. Tough call. But if it means you'll be uncomfortable for the day/night - I'd go with the Black and just add some color in accessories.

Also, if you do manage to get toned arms by next sunday I'd love to hear your secret, sister! Hum. I've wondered about those shoes...maybe I should give them a try. You've been all sorts of inspiring to me lately - first the tissue flowers and now these shoes!

TheCrunchyWife said...

Okay first of all, you look amazing. seriously! And secondly, I LOVE the black dress..that one gets my vote :)

FairlyGirly said...

I love the black dress too!

Tara said...

You are NOT fat...you probably were super slim before being pregnant and having a babe. Now, you're just beating yourself up for the muffin-top. Take it easy, work out to get healthy (think good cholesterol, high energy) - if you do it to get rid of muffin-top; you will stop because that takes serious time and/or fasting. been there.

you look great in the yellow. drink lots of water and watch out for tempting cookies and perhaps delicious starbucks type drinks. you'll probably fit in great in no time.

very funny post by the way! i can SO relate!

best,
tara
http://elanvitalanthology.blogspot.com