I've lost five pounds officially. Unofficially, I lost seven but then gained back two. And don't go thinking any of that is muscle, because it's not. I know this because I haven't made one single attempt to build any at all. Not because I don't want muscle, more like I don't want exercise.
Some of you good-hearted souls are about to comment, "Yay good for you! Five pounds is excellent!" Well save it, because I forgot to mention that five pounds was over a three-month period.
Technically you could call it a one-month period followed by two months of slacking off. But I want to get back to making a serious attempt, including exercise this time. I'm thinking even if it's just a few sets of crunches or something every day, that's better than nothing at all, right?
But I'm afraid it might be even more difficult this time than three months ago, because the quick loss might have been water weight. I'll be honest, I don't really understand this water weight concept. I drank like a gallon of water every day, mixed with a few ounces of pure cranberry juice. The idea is to make you pee your brains out, but apparently there's also something about cleansing the liver. Idunno. All I know is that I lost five pounds and I want to do it again. I think I could handle only five pounds a month. I'd prefer five pounds a week, of course, but... I'll take what I can get.
Anyway, even after I started slacking off, I stuck with the cranberry juice mixture because it's so delicious and it helps me drink more water. Before, I was drinking about half a bottle of water a day, plus several cups of coffee in the morning and a cup of tea at night. If you do the math, that's like negative hydration because of the caffeine. I read a book called The Fat Flush Plan, or something like that, and it was all about cleansing the liver so that it can process fat correctly. And other stuff that I didn't understand. It also mentioned ginger and cinnamon as two ingredients that help with that, so I put those in my juice too. And also because I love them.
I make a big plastic pitcher of this stuff every week, and then every morning I pour a few ounces into my water bottles. I start with about a pound of fresh ginger, peeled and chopped into chunks that will be too large to escape through the pour spout of the pitcher.
I boil the ginger in a saucepan for about ten minutes with just enough water to cover the tops of the ginger chunks. This makes the whole house smell like ginger, I love it.
While the ginger water is still hot, add several tablespoons of cinnamon and stir until it's all dissolved. Be careful not to go overboard on the cinnamon or else your juice will be thick and slimy, which is disgusting.
Add Stevia and lemon juice, then pour all of it (including the water from the ginger) into a pitcher with the cranberry juice.
It's really important to find a brand of cranberry juice that doesn't add sugar or other fruit juices as sweeteners. The only place I could find that was Trader Joes.
The downside to this is that Trader Joe's keeps their juices directly across from the cereals. I can tear up some cereal. I'm completely out of control with a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, even if it is the generic organic brand.
The upside is that TJ's is right next to a Krogers, and I love Krogers' california rolls. See the little strip of grass-shaped plastic? It's coming between me and epic disaster. And by that I mean wasabi.
A few weeks ago I was devouring the entire tray and noticed a green blob next to my grated ginger blob (which is the best part, of course.) I thought the green blob was extra avocado, since there was avocado in the rolls. Seriously it looks just the same. Now I love avocado, and since there was just a little bit of it, I was saving it for my last roll, when I could scoop it all up and make that last bite completely perfect.
But it wasn't avocado.
And that last bite wasn't completely perfect.
It was like... A thousand burning suns. Tears involuntarily poured from my eyes and it felt like I'd swallowed a blender full of razor blades. I'd only taken half the roll as a bite, so I put the other half down and tried to cool my mouth with my spicy ginger juice. Smart, right?
So after a few minutes I was feeling better and going about my business when I noticed I still had half a roll left. I FORGOT IT HAD WASABI ON IT so I popped the whole thing into my mouth.
I deserved that.